Why is my husband being this way?

We have been fighting for a while about his cheating (at least 7 times in 8 years) that I had recently found out about 6 months ago. We have kids so I have been trying to work with him for their sake. He refuses counseling, doesn't feel guilty, and doesn't think he has done anything wrong. Well, the last time we fought he told me he was just here for the kids. I wonder when he stopped loving me because he has always acted like he loves me until I found out and called him out on his s***. So I told him if he wasn't attracted to me anymore, if he didn't love me anymore, if he didn't even like me anymore (because all he does is tell me all day long all the bad things about me so I ume there is nothing good about me and he doesn't like me at all) to leave already. But he doesn't want a divorce because of the kids. He wants to stay in the house and have his own "private world." go out when he wants with whoever, whenever, whereever. Well, I told him fine do what you like go be happy but don't confuse me anymore. Because we seem to make up and then fight again. I told him don't tell me you love me if you don't. Don't hug and kiss me, just treat me like a coworker or friend or even a stranger. But if you do love me then we need to work on us. Another issue of ours is our lack of . I ask for it everyday and he always rejects me. So I told him if he was going to chose this "single" life than he better forget about having with me again. He told me yeah right in a few days we will have and you will be just fine. Well we haven't had in almost a month. He hasn't told me he loves me since the fight. Normally its "i love you" when we say goodbye on the phone, when we leave the house, etc. I say it to him and he doesn't say anything back. He doesn't say goodnight. He insists on sleeping in the same bed, but we don't snuggle or anything. He hasn't hugged me all week. He gave me two pecks on the lips this week that's it. It was his bday the other day and I threw him a surprise party. It was late when it ended and he had to get up for work the next day so he said thanks for the party i have to go to bed right now. Come to bed when you get the kids to sleep. No goodnight. No I love you. No hug or kiss goodnight. He didn't even want bday . I guess this means he doesn't love me anymore because he is doing what I told him to do (not to confuse me anymore) but it really hurts. Also, we were watching tv last night and he asked me to go bring him some ice cream. I get up and cook him breakfast and fix his lunch everyday and I cook dinner for when he gets home and wash and fold his laundry and everything else normal....so he still expects me to take care of him like a wife (or mother if you think about it) and yet there is no reciprocation no thank you. He works and brings home the money.....but I think I would rather be poor and working 3 jobs myself as long as I was in a happy fullfillinf marriage with someone who shows they care and they love me. He is the one who still stayed with me even though he cheated numerous times (its not that he left and came back it was all behind my blindly trusting back)....so it sort of seems like he does want me. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want a divorce...no one does....but it seems like the only way I can be happy is to leave him. This morning he yelled at me because our daughters watered the flowers out front the day before and put too much water and so they were a little flooded. He saw this in the morning and flipped out. Why do we have to fight about something stupid like that? We have money, paid off cars, a nice home, two lovely children....why isn't this enough to make him happy in life and feel happy with us. I don't get what he wants. Any thoughts?